Legs feel heavy... Heart feels heavy... I feel like I'm losing steam... But I cannot give up...
Feels like a while since I was really joyful... There has been short moments... just not an entire period...
Maybe I've lost sight of whats important in life... God remind me...
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Give me the strength for tomorrow... Be my strength... I need it...
auto-pilot...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
12:25 AM
I feel heavy laden. The whole day the worries, thoughts and considerations run round and round. Only sleepiness keeps it from running my mind out. My friend, my believes, my comfort zone.
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Friends- So worried about whats happening. Everybody thinks they know whats going on but no one really does. Even I dare not say I really know all. But I know enough to know its messier than trying to bake a cake.
Action, inaction. Either way doesn't seem good.
And I'm getting torn between choosing one or the other... On so many occasions.
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Believes- Whats true? Whats good or not? Guidelines or rules? Creativity or silent resignation?
I can't decide what is true or not. I've ponder and explored the angles. I've considered my options. Still I cannot decide what is true.
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Comfort- I've wanted to go beyond where I am. Still I'm stuck here for many a reason.
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Think some more... and more... maybe I need higher processing speed or ram or something. Oh wellz...
being me...
Monday, May 21, 2007
1:48 AM
Why must you make me choose!? On the one hand to be loyal. On the other to do something I want to? HAH! What a choice?? I wish I could be more specific but I don't wanna cause unnecessary hoohah.
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Some choices are just meant to be difficult. There's no harm either way. arhhh
What a choice!?
choices....
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
2:06 AM
This is the second time in three days. One moment I'm awake, along the hallway or using the computer. The next I'm asleep on my bed past midnight. These lapses are rather interesting and frustrating. I end up not doing a lot of things I had planned to and usually I wake up and forget what they were.
I guess I just need to sleep earlier for a few days and let my body reach back to the status quo.
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Blogger is still weird...
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well... back to sleep....
zombied....
Saturday, May 12, 2007
2:33 AM
Blogger is a little weird lately...
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I have climbed a mountain today! I have done it. Broken a barrier and reached a new checkpoint.
I successfully baked a cake today! Its quite nice and so far I'm still alive after eating it. So I guess I'll call it a success. Wonder what my guinea pigs will say tomolo... hee hee hee :P
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've been in melancholy mood lately... Everything kinda just dies off... Thinking... Pondering... Wondering...
Still...
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Church Camp in less than a month. Cher hao had better applied for passport already.
Conference in less than 2 months. Time is flying. I must get ready. It'll be special in so many ways. I've been wanting to see "her" for quite some time... The last I saw "her" I was in preschool. I can just imagine the weather, the people, the city and the vacation of sorts.
Mostly I pray God will inspire me for His service, ministry and His kingdom.
