Lately a million thoughts have been running through my mind. Some good some bad. Still I feel hope in me. Yet I must temper my hopes and dreams with reality and slow down my pace. Its difficult but I'll make it through each day. Slowly but surely. Haiz, time is running out.





aaaaaaaaaa... What is to be done?

The trip to jb was great. Great food. Great buys. Great friends and company. Finished a little weak... Somemore I started strong.

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Tomolo is a new day and I look forward to it.
Shall go rest early then... See you all in the New Year!!!




wash hand... no...

I just found out can put photos up... LOL

Enjoy the pic of our dinner at jb!! Bon appetit

Finally, After all that internet saga due to the earthquake and all. Surfing is going back to normal. hm... what to share

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Boxing day we went JB. It was tons of fun and the food was good. I miss the food so luckily I get to again tomolo! LoL. Another trip to JB though with much more people. I do hope to eat a lot again! :)

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I'm kinda nervous. About many things. God I will trust in You always.





Your face...

Merry Christ-mas to all!!! May your festive season be filled with love, peace and joy!!

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Christmas was great fun today. It was great to spend it with friends at lunch. So much laughter, good food and good fellowship. Kinda disappointed couldn't watch show in the end but still it was great fun.

I'm glad so far people have expressed positive reactions towards the presents. I was quite afraid that they wouldn't or that they already have it. But I trust in the Lord for this love that I give.

Side note- to all who received the card I hope you like it. The card itself is as much a gift as the words within it. Furthermore its my first attempt at drawing:P

~~~~~

Getting teased to some extent is quite fun. Embaressing to no end but kinda enjoyable. I feel younger that way. back to the old days of truth or dare. I just hope it does no damage and is only done in the spirit of creating laughter and fun.

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I'm looking forward to my jb day trip tomolo. I hope that I have enough cash though. Looking forward to spending time with friends again.




Journey~~~

the past few days have been good:)

Not only did I manage to complete the christmas shopping, my card design is turning out not too bad... Also I've been having a lot of inspirations lately. The drama at Chapel of Christ the Redeemer and some lag time in between my shopping have brought a lot of new and fresh ideas. And I'm eager to work them out. Maybe come out with the script.

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I understood a little more of myself. Yet I can't do anything about it. My better judgement tells me to keep it down and so I'll avoid being carried away by my feelings. Like my heart wrenching moment, I had a load-off-the-chest moment, where I let out a sigh of relieve.

Furthermore, I now realize the world is a bigger place then I could possibly imagine. Surely anything is possible, because my God is creative and imaginative.




Merry Christ-mas

I had a LONG LONG night yesterday. I missed my last bus and guessed what I did... I waited for first bus!!! lol :) I didn't want to waste on a 17 dollar cab ride home and also pai seh to disturb nic who already had many places to go. So I spent an hour at the void deck near church, then walked over to central. Had bak chor mee at s11 and then fries and teh at macs... 4 plus I walked back in the rain to church kopitiam to eat breakfast (You won't believe what other pple had for breakfast) and then took my first bus...

Seriously if I had a choice I'll never do it again

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I feel conflicted and confused. I had this incredible heart wrenching moment yesterday but I shall refrain from sharing details...

Sometimes I just want to be more bold. I want the life I dream of.




adorable...

So I've returned from what I think is the best camp I've been to so far. I've had the best group Gad and I hope through some way I could have touched their lives as well.

I'm back to life with a lot of things to do this week. I'm a little conflicted regarding certain issues.
Haiz~~~

I really wanna talk my leader and a close friend but so far I've found them kinda hard to approach...

God help me find a way.

Sometimes I just feel disgusted with myself

and yet some others where I'm proud

I shouldn't look back

The memories do hurt

My idiocy, impulsiveness and stupidity

Yet what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger

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uncertainty is the order of the day
as i struggle to understand my inner being.
My mind wanders to the possibilities
of a future full of hope and joy.
A world as it was meant by The One,
filled with love and loneliness is no more.

If only I could know your thoughts
then surely this confusion would cease!
In my limited wisdom and knowing
I become conflicted by my emotions and traveling thoughts.
What can I do but inflict patience upon myself,
and trust in God for a world with you.

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Shall we have some tea? hyuu~~

Somehow God, You answer my prayers.

You provide and you give me what I need.

Thank you.

I am back after my drum-athon! Which was closer to 10 hours than 9~ Hah!

So glad to see Justin, Judy and Esther back again~

I had a few moments of thoughts this week.

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What is love? How do you determine love? Do two people love each other due to similarities? Or due to differences( The opposites attract thing)? Do you love because you have to? Or that you should? Does God love because it SHOULD be? Because he created us. Does it mean His love is any lesser because of that? Of course not!! Maybe the question is not really why He loves us but how He loves us and that in itself is another blog worth of musings.

Then what about us? Why and how do we love? I'm narrowing this down to romantic love because the rest( Parental, brotherly, etc) aren't as complicated. Whats the point of romantic love? Is it necessary or just a bonus in this world? Maybe it gives a glimpse to the wonderful relationship we have with God, which is perfect and thus I believe should encompass certain aspects of romantic love.

God wants to give us good things, no? Then maybe God designs romance as a most precious gift He gives to two of His children. So back to why? Maybe it isn't really important why you love as much as how you love. (Feel free to correct my judgement) Love is one of those things you know you have when you do, just like having a relationship with any one else even God. Sure, sometimes the relationships we have get tainted by our imperfections, selfishness, etc. Thats why we have to depend on God, have faith that God can show us what it should be and return love to its own perfection.

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I think thats enough musings for one entry hahaz... write more after my 9 hour drums marathon tomorrow. (3 rehearsals and one actual and 15 different songs)



He's higher, higher!