Hahz! I fluffed it today. I guess I'm too shy for my own good. Some days I get nervous during social settings but others I am overly comfortable. The feeling was weird~ hah! So I don't know whether its good or its bad. Maybe its better than what I thought.

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Clarence suggested going overseas and so far the proposals sound exciting! I do hope it happens then it'll be a nice break... Let me break it down

9Dec- Drama- Changing Frames
10Dec- ORD!
14-17Dec- Fact camp- "Deeper, wider and beyond"
25Dec- Christmas!
26-29Dec- ????overseas trip????


LOL... well... wait and see

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Another thing to looks forward to is surely Powerhouse this sat. 8 man/woman band!! Further more got foreign import! 2 australian musicians! hahaz

If you wanna noe who then make sure you come for what promises to be a great and powerful time of worship and prayer!



God my one refuge...

I've finally brought most of my stuff home from camp... so the true beginning to ord-ing. Of course a few more things have to be done but its underway. Soon I'll be civilian or Nsman anyway.

I've finally paid my outstanding library fines which means I can once again borrow books. Hopefully this time round I'll actually return the books on time. But I must really commend the improvements by the NLB. Finally they accept payment by methods other than just cashcard. That was one of the primary reasons why I put off paying the fines for so long. (2-3 years) It seemed very 'extra' to purchase a cashcard just for the purpose of paying my fines. So I'm glad that finally can use NETS LOL!

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I'm finally getting those feelings back. Its nice. It came while I was watching Tsubasa Chronicles (which by the way is quite a good anime).

Its nice to be warm and tingly again. Its me.




Remembering you still...

Is it wrong to feel lonely? Isn't it a human affliction suffered specially by mankind? I guess I shouldn't feel guilty to be lonely... it is a natural feeling... But yet I must seek to overcome it with divine help. Only that way can I achieve victory...

But does this victory mean I'll stop feeling lonely? Or does it mean I will be able to tolerate loneliness?

God,
Help me to be satisfied in You and You alone. To look to You first oh Lord and trust that all the desires of my heart will be added unto me... No good thing will You hold back from me Lord. Help me to trust in You. Amen...


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Pretty tired lately, not enough sleep bahz... Man Utd still leading so I'm glad in that area *snicker* I also decided I shall tackle my mountain of unwatched anime starting with tsubasa chronicles. And of course I gotta try out FFXII, it just looks awesome!


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Take care all you study-ers. God speed!!




remembering you...

She looked so fair, so beautiful. I got lost in her call. She beckoned me and beads of water rolled down the body. I shouldn't but I'm losing control... I must have a taste...

So I gave in to temptation and ate an oreo mcflurry when I really shouldn't be. :P LOL

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3 more weeks to go...



could it be?

I got quite a couple of new stuff today... things I've been wanting for some time so I'm quite content... handphone, frames x2 and specs...

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I think I'm getting ahead of myself in a certain aspect
Perhaps I should just stop~ Get rooted back in reality and not dream so much~~
But I am a dreamer~ maybe a better word is thinker~

I keep thinking of... but is it impossible??

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Really getting sianz of camp but 4 more weeks.... I must endure and then I'll be out~!! After 2 years... I feel like I'm getting released from jail or something, LOL! But then I had some great experiences... Like shooting in the platoon ambush in india, BUA training, and some others... things you never get to do again... All the guns and explosives ( my fav!!) And I guess to some degree I'll miss the physical training:) hahz!

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Well, hope the arsenal and liverpool match turn out well... Go Man Utd!! lol...

take care you all esp. the examinees! God speed!!

I watched a couple of shows today (new specs too). Material girls (Hilary duff!) and an older film... Lake house (Keanu and sandra). They are good shows... lovely in their own ways:)

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I think I noe why I feel so numb... its a subconscious thing I guess... I think I'm just blocking out something... maybe its the tears, maybe its the hurt... I AM blocking something... but goodness knows what it may be...

I'm tired of trying to find help too... nobody really seems to want to know~ either that or they really got problems of their own and I shouldn't really be bothering them with my burdens... haiz... maybe one last shot~ I also don't know who...

I can't threaten, blackmail or force it... so I can search around for it... though it may just be scraps of it but beggers can't be choosers... and I guess I'll take whatever little I find around...



60 degrees in the middle of february...

Ord function was the bomb... the food was great and the emcee was superb... crude in some sense but ultimately judging by the response, superb... It was quite a load of laughs and it was a pretty enjoyable was to spend the last few moments with friends from camp...

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Lately 've been feeling a little... isolated? Not sure if thats the right word but I guess thats how I feel... Maybe its just the type of person I am so I'm not gonna blame others for not trying... It is understandable... Then again maybe just not trying hard enough~~ Don't really know either...

Lonely is a human problem...

Oh wellzz~~




searching~~

I think I may know why... Its this numbness... I want to feel... Perhaps I've forgotten or that I'm just tired but I want to feel... Numbness go away... Haiz~~


but I'm happy too~ Watching CCS has helped somewhat... Not only did it somewhat re-ignite but it also helped me to believe maybe its possible...

I don't really wanna grow old and cynical~~ HAhaH

But in any case I think I just need more sleep~~

Take care~~



believe...

Haiz~ I'm back from camp... People are preparing to ord so its very sianzz~~ I still got 5 weeks!! Hopefully it isn't as bad as I think... Oh wellzzz lets get thru this man. Also the ten year reservist cycle is beginning to sound just like ns all over again!! so so very unpromising~~ but I guess it wouldn't be so bad~

Also I've finished CCS! Bahzzz... so happy and sad... a bittersweet experience...

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can't wait to see~




Waiting for that day, just a glimpse