Okay... so here's the dirty secrets... airing the dirty linen... letting the cat out of the bag...

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IS WAY COOL!!!!

Pardon my sudden outburst but seriously... I know it may seem like one of those typical feel good shows... but WHO CARES? not me, they do it well and I watch it!

Been wanting to try paintball or its laser equivalent... So if you wanna do it too let me know! Because how else on earth would I know if you don't say it! HAHZ... I like to say I'm psychic, but even my cat knows thats just a joke!

Okay... enough of the light frothy stuff... Its time for a little serious thought...

Is it wrong to dress shabbily? Don't get me wrong I love to look nice... but thats it isn't? Its just looks... First impressions and everything... I know how much it weighs on me, the first few moments I meet a person. But then is it important at all?? Doesn't God look at the heart and not the appearance which man looks at?

Have we become a respectable church? If I dressed like a beggar and went for service or cell, would I still be loved and accepted? What about if I ranted like a fool or had poor manners? What happened to the sick, needy and broken hearted? The beggars, lepers, prostitutes, liars, stealer, extortionist, killers and betrayers?? Somehow it seems that church has become a respectable thing of sorts. Didn't many despise Christ and reject Him? The friends of drunkards and prostitutes He was called...

If Christ was here today, sometimes I wonder if I would be one of those who rejects Him. The modern equivalent of a pharisee. The person who knows the jargon and the rituals. Have I forsaken the true depth of love for a shallow representation of boundless grace? Would we throw Christ out of the very place we worship Him in?

I don't want to appear judgemental because then I would only be heaping judgment on myself... But if you read this I truly ask you to consider what I have said... test it for me and I test it myself... and then tell me what you believe...

As my faith is put through the fire, my prayer is that gold precious silver and rare stones may exit the searing flames...

Lord, forgive this older brother today... My trust, my hope and my all are still in You!

This week has been really long and tiring... half of it was spent thundering down dirt paths while on the inside of a metal beast made to protect and kill...

My eyes are tired, arms aching and worst of all I'm covered in mosquito bites. In three days time I get the rare and distinct pleasures of doing it all over again. :P

Many thoughts have crossed my mind this week, many a dream while others pointless wanderings... Still thinking about high school musical and mandy moore though... hahahz:)

A long week has gone and another beckons... so stressed at 'work' now... sianzz... Respect is a commodity that is scarce...

Suddenly, I got this craze about high school musical from disney channel and Mandy Moore!!
hahahz... I like the songs cry and crush... maybe I can just relate to the songs :) Even high school musical is like typical feel good shows but its soooo nice... same old formula but they do it right!!
Hahahaz... a very sweet show from disney

Taking forever to recover from this cold... but I think its nding soon... the cough is killing me! bleahx

" I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush when I'm with you
oooo I got a crush on you"

So many things seem wrong... I feel like a square existing in a world made round... Excellent in nothing... Alone... Unhappy maybe...

I don't noe if thats what I'm doing unconciously, seeking to be unhappy... or if my problems are real...

Am I scary? Unworthy of love? God loves me for me... So why don't I see it, feel it in His family?

Am I asking too much? Expecting others to bother when I shouldn't? Am I not giving enough to warrant me worthy of attention and acceptance?

God help me through... Guide my steps and make my way straight... Your will is beautiful and your name most worthy of praise... Glory to God always!

It has been a long week... many new things

Firstly I finally find out who read my blog! Always wondered about the 40 over hits I get. What a varied repsonse I have received. From sympathy to praise and even scorn( hasn't that been obvious). I am greatly touched for your support thank you very much...

It has mostly been camp friends that have aired their views... and I am extremely thankful for that... But I'll really like to hear from my church peeps too... you guys mean so much to me as well...

Also I;ve been doing some training to this new position I am suppose to fill and it has been fun if not somewhat stressful.

Must go now... tata take care and God bless!!

I saw a picture of beauty,
a blanket of a thousand shades of green
rising and falling like the ocean's waves.

A tangle of blue and green
As land and water waltzed around each other,
Indeed a true beauty to behold.

Intelligent is thy creator, oh trees!
Creative is thy maker, oh seas and ocean!
Wonderful is thy king, oh morning sun!

How ironic how much easier in army can one see God's beauty in Singapore

Wilt thou forgive that sin where I begun,
Which was my sin, though it were done before?
Wilt thou forgive that sin, through which I run,
And do still run: though still I do deplore?
When thou hast done, thou hast not done,
For, I have more.

Wilt thou forgive that sin which I have won
Others to sin? and, made my sin their door?
Wilt thou forgive that sin which I did shun
A year, or two: but wallowed in, a score?
When thou hast done, thou hast not done,
For I have more.

I have a fear of sin, that when I have spun
my last thread, I shall perish on the shore;
But swear by thy self, that at my death thy son
Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;
And, having done that, thou hast done,
I fear no more.

Written by John Donne

England is out of the world cup... Did I seriously think they'll go all the way? No. But I did hope so...Now its over... Penalites of all places!!

take care ya all

Heyhey...

Firstly, Let me say sorry. There are those I have hurt in the past. Be it ignoring or being insensitive. I apologize deeply for my mistake. I ask for your forgiveness (You know who you are). But of course I rather not settle it like this. If you would be willing, please contact me any way you are used to or comfortable kayz?

My cat is giving me trouble... haiz...

Sian... no one is like on line now so what can I say? Tired from guard duty last night too...

World cup is ending soon! Shame that argentina got kicked out by penalties... Now hopefully Brazil wins and kicks the living daylights out of everyone.

Been dreaming about her still... hahaz. I can't seem to stop those... Haiz... good dreams :)

Take care you all, God bless you