Today ain't half bad! Went for service, she wasn't there though. Knocked out again. Raining cancelled our soccer training so oh well... Had lunch and then watched X men 3 with cher clar and kat. Had fun:) what a kooky bunch...

This weekend has been good, hopefully the week will be... It has been an exception rather than the norm. But I thank God for these two days that makes life seem worth going on. Thank baby, clar, cher, kat and the entire cell. Its been a while since I felt happy.

Kinda frustrated at the game for not working properly.

Gotta chao liao, camp beckons. Take care peeps, all best clarence! two weeks won't be too long. God speed. Msg me sometimes during the week kay peeps? tata!



good times ending...

WHAT A DAY!! Its been a crazy day from the get go. Morning guess what? Had army stuff, last minute called down to do something which I was instructed better not put here the details. So scared my day was screwed, but it turned out aight when it was turned around last minute.

Then next? It could only be described as wunderful! Hahaz, dining at nooch, battling traffic and then HAND JIVE & GREASED LIGHTNING! Hahaz. What a show, the music is a little old for me( still prefer the saturday night fever songs) But it was da main man. Alexander from australia stole out attention for a while. HAH. Of course the show was enhanced a hundred folds by a stunning companion.

Seems like less is more. I must continue doing what I'm doing. Its tough but who will know? (Except you my readers) I trust you to take care of yourself, that you respect yourself and that you are a person full of heart. Just wish I could somehow make you believe that I really do. Oh well.

Miao miao gave me such a scare just now, jump out the window unto this ledge. In the end I had to go to the corridor, climb over the wall unto a ledge, step over unto the ledge he's on and then make my way back! Fortunately he didn't struggle (probably too afraid), otherwise its a six storey fall for me.

Sidenote before I end, I've always been impartial to the name Alex/Alexander. HAHZ.Maybe I could give myself a middle name. Alphonsus "Alexander" Ang or Alphonsus "Alex" Ang. Lots of As hahaz.

Well Sunday's here hope it'll just get better!!:)




Summer days...

So here I am back again. In this place where I attempt to make some sense of whats floating around in my mind and try to share some of that mental 'rojak' with you, the reader.

I am tempted to start with the sad stuff and I have given in. So here goes

How am I suppose to be? One of the few things that make me glad I only get when I'm down. The care and the concern. But once I pick myself up, hm.... where did it go? And that alone won't be so bad but I sorta 'lose' the companionship. I feel lonely, become depressed, pple show concern, I become happy then companionship stops and back to step one. HAH

I wonder where are you now? So tempted to pick up my phone but I must control. I survive and avoid the pain but straining to keep you out of my thoughts. But there you are always on the pheripheral. Haiz... I must try to hide my pain and my sadness from you. That way you can be the happiest... At least I think. I worked hard to open up and now I must try to close it. Bottle it up then and carry on, don't know if I'll explode but I'll try.

On a birghter note, Grease tomorrow! Besides that wanna watch MI3 but think its out... will try to catch X men and over the hedge. Most likely by myself hehz...

What else to write? Have no idea... HAHz oh well, on to my CSI tata!



Where are u, my friend?

Hahz! The beautiful game! the power of one ball to captivate and stop the entire world. Had a good game today, good to let the reserves run around, not much in terms of blooding us. I did my best, could be better though. Waiting for next match. Hahaz, want to contribute more to attack, feel the wind blowing in my hair.( Not much hair though)

Saw a vision of beauty today. The lovliness is undeniable. Hahahz, you must think I'm crazy.

The boredom of the start of the work week is saddening. At least I can msn you peeps or meet ya all( e.g. to eat) when I'm out of camp! Haven't sakae for so long... And I still haven't watch mi3 and want to watch the new over the hedge. Looks good. But I think I'm gonna have to watch it alone... sianz! What to do? only free on weekend and price on weekend is siao, so I don't get much in terms of movie going peeps. Really wanna eat though! I have never tried swedish meatballs and like I said long time no sushi. Oh!! and crystal jade la mian xiao long pao!! HAH, sHi0K! not just the food but the right kind of company? clarence, esta, py and maybe like eug and clara. Feel so envious when I hear of the food-capades.

Leaving soon... remember to msg me peeps! my phone very quiet in camp larh. hahahz Tc and God bless!!



One more week till Grease...

One of those feel sad feel happi days. It happens very often to me. Had a good soccer game, did as much as I expected except more headers today. hahaz. Cher hao seems to only be on target when in our side of the court. BahX!!

Youth Aflame was aight. Weird but aight. The cold was making me cough bad though. still am coughing and a little wheezing too. I can't seem to make it go away.

So close and yet so far, almost could see the softness and sweetness. Hahahz, Its funny what you can find when you look. Who or what I won't leak. ;P

Sometimes I am quiet, others I'm loud. I'm shy and yet outgoing. Who am I? Good question, your guess is as good as mine.

God bless whoever reads this, may their joy never end, their hope never falter. Take care all you out there!



gone...

I just wanna say the right things in the right way. Somehow it never works out. My brain seems to function differently from others.

I wanna communicate my feelings but I usually end up mis communicating and she then misinterprets... I just want to see her... but I guess its not possible...

If you're reading this... I also don't know what to say... just feel like mindlessly junking the page...

miss her smile, the way she laughs, her warmness, her fragrance. The way she loves and cares for others.Her honesty. Her commitment to get the work done even if on her own. Can't really say I miss her shortcomings but I do sort of...

I wonder if I ever made her happy? I wonder if I make her happy recently? I wonder if I can make her happy in the future? What happens to me it doesn't matter as long as she's happy...

Where are you? I miss you so...



Just miss you lots...

Heyaz,

Sorry for my previous blogs, seems my natural knack for saying the wrong things carry onto the blog world...

Anywayz, my weekend is starting and I dunch noe what on earth is going and whether its good or bad...

kitty- sorry for agitating you, don't really wanna be the thorn in your side... but I can't really figure you out... sometimes I think I'm doing alright and then you ask me not to try, and I thought maybe I went about it wrong... as to why I keep asking about you its because I just wanna whats happening to you...

Some of the things you say or the way you react to me hurts a lot. And I tend to do the wrong things then... sorry.

I think you're still the best... not in the sense that you're perfect but that you are of worth.

please dunch take anything I say in the wrong way kay? I mean everything in the best sense of the word.

Peeps- I don't hear from you guys/gals enough!! save for one or two... msg me more kayz I got tons of time



wanna make you happy...

Yoz, its finally officially in use! I welcome all who come here (and I hope its many).

Well, if you're hoping for a cheerful and sunny blog I'm sorry I might disappoint you. Lately life has been in the doldrums. I have been going through and is still going through the worst time in my life. seriously no kidding.

A main bulk of it having to do with a special person. My peeps will know who, and there is a good chance that the special person will read this. (Hello!) But if you don't then, oh well... Anyway, recently I lost one of the most impt person in my life. If you know what it means to rip your soul apart, then you know how I feel. Now I'm on a journey to find her, even though she was the one who left. This feels like the longest of nights but my hope is that the dawn will come and I'll find her again.

If you're gonna say that I can't let go... then go ahead. I fight for the right to love her again. A fool I may be, but who is not in the name of love? She might hate me, dislike me, etc.... but I hope she'll remember the good things about me together with the bad, and not just focus on my wrongs.

Yet I do not blame her for leaving. I blame myself most of all. For not trusting her enough, for wanting too much to spend forever with her. Now, she wants to taste the freedom of singlehood and meanwhile I prepare a place for her to fly to when she gets tired.

Peeps- if you read this and then go "oh no here he goes again". Please try and understand how hard it is for me.
Baby- if you feel annoyed when you read this, I'm sorry if you cannot take my straightforward feelings. If I could shout it out from the top of the world, I would. I love thee more than my pride, my possessions and my time. Your forgiveness and acceptance I ask for, and I noe only by grace you'll give.

But life goes on, army, ministry, soccer, winning eleven. Hope I have a match soon. But everywhere I go, I rather share it with you.

okok... thanks for slogging through my first entry, promise I'll put other stuff in regarding my journey through life. Any of my peeps reading this, if you think it wise, please pass the url to my beloved. Thanks, I ask no more.





wanna go clubbing with u...